"I Think I Can"

I'm writing this post because I want to be able to look back on it and laugh at myself; or at least have a good chuckle. I have the sewing machine, I have two great beginner books, I have some beautiful fabric, the "Rolls Royce" of scissors that I ordered off of amazon and I've got a sidebar bursting with "easy" "beginner" projects. The only thing I lack is the guts to sit down and begin work on my first project. As usual, the guts are lacking due to fear in the form of perfectionism. Perfectionism is preventing me from doing something I've wanted to do for the past 3 years. I want to learn how to sew on the sewing machine my granny bought for me when Pigeon was just a tot. I was doing great around this time last year. I had followed Diana Rupp's instructions and learned all the parts of the machine, figured out what a bobbin is, learned how to wind it and learned to thread the machine. The next step was to learn how to sew a straight line by stitching on notebook paper. One ream of paper later and I still could not sew straight lines from start to finish. My straightest lines were in the middle where I had more control of the paper with both hands. Also, I kept looking at the needle as my guide. I wasn't going to give up; I was very eager to keep working. But then I had an accident. Then something wonderful happened and then there was Dolly and several months of remodeling after her visit so my machine had to be packed away, moved around and eventually put aside. Now, the urge to sew for two children and a home is back and it's even stronger but I'm nervous about it. Why? Because the voice inside my head is now telling me that I'll never sew a straight line much less a baby quilt for Mustard, a lap quilt for Pigeon, book bags, headbands, crayon rolls, etc. I guess I just need to remind myself of all the things in my life that I thought I'd never be able to do that I take for granted now. I remember the first time I saw my sister-in-law crochet. I thought I'd never learn but I did, thanks to her. My mom taught me the skills needed to make a handstitched Bucilla felt stocking for Pigeon. I've been meaning to make Turk one but in the mean time he's had to make do with my ex-sister in law's. My mom just took her sequinced name off and put his name on. Hey, it works. And most recently, I learned to wrap 6 yards of stretchy fabric around me to carry Mustard around with me. Granted he doesn't like being in it because he wants to see out but the point is, that wrap was a beast and I mastered it because of my need to eat scrambled eggs without half the shells in them (Maybe I should've saved $40 and just learned to crack an egg with one hand). Ahem...I mean HIS need to be close to me. I know I can do this. I think I can...I think I can...I think I can....